You’ll need Batman’s resolve and Bruce Wayne’s inheritance
Amran, I'm afraid to admit that parts of this medical and fiscal horror story have rendered me helpless with laughter - don't get me wrong, I'm ever so sympathetic, and it sounds awful - but man, you tell SUCH a great story! Best thing I've read this week (and I spend over 32 hours a day reading Substack newsletters, so that's saying something*).
After reading it I have never been so grateful for the NHS as I am right now. It's a clunky ol' beast of a machine, but it saved my life twice in fifteen years and was sweet enough not to bill me.
*Possibly inaccurate. You decide.
I wish this was funny. Go back to writing humor man!!! Cuz this one just hurts, reminds me of all the times I’ve been through this exact same rigamarole, including once on the exact same body part. And now I’m 58 and need a knee replacement. But my eyes work: https://youtu.be/a4oBGj3yMbg
I read the entire article, and the fact that you tore your miniscus and braved the US health care system just so we could be entertained, shows me how committed you are to seeing this writing thing through to the bloody end. Well done, Amran!
Also, there comes a time in every man's life where he realizes he has met the deductible on his high deductible health plan and will to his relief not have to pay any more. Then he realizes the dichotomy and does the math on being worth more to his wife dead than alive... and worries about how many true crime poscasts she listens to... watch your back.
So sorry that I laughed out loud through this entire piece.
Had a series of belly laughs interspersed with chuckles. Very engaging story. Way to go!
Sorry March 9th was such a letdown. 🙁
I just met my high AF deductible, too! UP TOP! ✋🏻
You're telling stories like a real middle-aged dad now. The older you get, the better you were.
We just put up a new trampoline in our backyard. Because we want our children to have surgery early in life, so they'll be hardened to the flaws in the system later. Alternatively, I could just read this post to them at bedtime.
I got married 10 years earlier than you! That's nuts. Or I was. Either way, mazel tov. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Did you sell the opioids?😎
imitation crab meat. Dying. I too am currently enmeshed is this nightmare. My HSA has by some miracle not actively lost money, but neither has it gained. And I dropped the HDHP because the premium became insane. And now I have a HIGHER, MUCH MUCH HIGHER deductible to the tune of $9,000 with a plan that no one takes and NOW, NOW, since it's marketplace coverage, I am looked upon with GRAVE SUSPICION (as if I can somehow control where I work) and have to be found "financially fit" to be allowed service. I'm just going to go walk into the ocean.
Dostoyevsky-esque list of directions? My Dostoyevsky phase was so long ago. What are these? The no eating, no drinking? Wasn’t that Tolstoy? I thought Dostoyevsky was blind gambler? But I can’t remember!
This just bumped the Father's Day piece to my second favorite, but I can't even pick a favorite line because it was all perfect. This is how you tell stories in real life - movie references, death wishes, calling out absurdity, self depracation, empathy - I could really hear your voice coming through.
I am *almost* sorry that I laughed so much about it because, as your friend, I should be concerned. I mean, I am concerned and glad you're doing well now. Thanks for sharing!
I know the point of this great piece wasn't to vindicate our fleeing America as if our hair was on fire. But it did.
And because I like you, I'm not going to tell you what our recent visit to the hospital here in Bangkok was like. I think seeing how different life can be outside of the U.S. might reduce you to a pile of blubbering goo.
As someone who's had both meniscuses (meniscii?) torn and repaired, I truly feel your pain. Just to give you something to look forward to, Medicare + a supplement is a much better deal. All you have to do is get old and have a few bucks left. The regular American healthcare system is abominable - thanks for making it funny.
As I was reading this a stranger pulled up in front of my house with his car on fire, flames as tall as the car just shooting up out of the hood -- he ran to my door, knocked frantically, and when I opened it and saw the burning rubber-smelling hell he asked me if I had “any water.”
Just felt relevant. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Thank you for writing this magnificent piece. I’m glad you did not die honorable on the ancient steppes 🙏🏼
My knees hurt now.
And my head hurts from laughing. Also, I'm feeling guilty for laughing.
I'm a mess.
I was told my knees have turned to gravel, which didn't seem at all fair. That was after I tore my meniscus in a fall and they x-rayed my knee. The person who told me my knees were gravel now seemed to think it was funny. "Yup! Gravel!"
That was two years ago, and I doubt the gravel has mended itself. I get cortisone shots before I go on long trips, and I look pathetic going up and down steps, but I'm trying to avoid fake knees so I'm hiding from the orthopedic folks as long as I can.
Great story, even if it had to come from so much trauma. 😘
I laughed, I cried, then I couldn't tell the difference. This reminded me of Office Space--hilarious yet hauntingly accurate.
Wow the medical system in the US seems super complex and hard to navigate - as a non American this queston may seem silly - but do you think free healthcare is possible in the States?