A pseudo-legitimate dispatch from the mean streets of Chicago
This is the Amran voice I like best! Yeah, it’s too damned long, but it’s got soul
I found myself skipping paragraphs in your story. It was lengthy and political. I want to read something that I can escape from Societies BullShit. Maybe you can think of something else to write about. I think you would reach a bigger audience.
While I've smirked and chuckled and squirmed uncomfortably while reading you up to this point. This is the first piece I've read that made me solidly laugh. Out loud. Alone with my dog. Like, almost once a paragraph. I want to station you at my front door during canvassing season, so you can properly scrutinize and confound our local candidates. And are QR codes supposed to be for middle-aged people? Because I still can't figure those bastards out. I'm the old person in the restaurant who gets grouchy and demands a physical menu after failing to launch the online version in a timely fashion. I second Tom. I like the voice of this. It read like fiction for me. Granted it was about a massively mundane experience, but I was in it. From beginning to end. Nice work!
“After honoring the social contract by congratulating him, I do the responsible thing and warn him. Wingman’s life will soon be over, and somebody needs to be honest with him” -- YES! Why did no one tell us this???!!! You go and spread Truth, Amran!!
Don't live in Chicago or any other place that resembles it, but I could still relate to this:
“'It is bullshit,' he says. 'And it is overblown. But that’s what people care about so that’s what I’ve got to run on.'”
There's the rub. Why don't politicians get the value of honesty?
“They seem impressed by my know-it-all attitude and say I have a good handle on the issues and ask why I’m not running, to which I respond, “I wouldn’t be caught dead doing this shit.’”
My favorite issue yet Arman. So funny!
Consider yourself lucky to live in a place where a weed dispensary is even an option!
This read like early Taibbi! More please
“...any kid with a TikTok account has seen more horrors than the Faces of Death franchise.” Please tell me this is exaggeration
The whole dispensary conversation was disturbing. The level of knee-jerk code words politicians use, omg. Maddening.
Good ish. It's very entertaining that McNulty comes up in a Carcetti competition.
In contexts like this, being "that guy" is a special pleasure. I imagine each candidate saw a boss health meter fill out after your first sentence.
I'm getting a lot of mileage out of The House Madigan Built by Ray Long. It's more than a little uncritical of The Velvet Hammer, but that book has been giving me a wealth of insight into Illinois and Chicago politics, as has Boss by Mike Royko, whose son is running in the historically mobbed up 1st ward, where the windows at the campaign office of the incumbent, La Spata, were smashed. At least it's never boring.
Still my favorite piece of yours, Amran. I've read it more than once 😂 It's one of those slice-of-life interactions that are stranger than fiction.