Hilarious, unfortunately. You reminded me that I've been to a few of these meetings myself (https://terryfreedman.substack.com/p/three-memorable-meetings). They provide an opportunity for people who have no life and no intelligence to advertise the facts. I do my best to avoid them these days, as I value the concept of keeping my blood pressure under control. A great write-up though: masterful.
Thank you, Terry! Yes, my blood pressure was displeased with me after this one, especially since every time I read it during revision I got angrier and angrier. But, unfortunately, I titled this nonsense publication Field Research.
And people wonder why no one talks to their neighbors anymore.
This reminds me of the cursed building near Diamond Lake that had a new business about once a year. Back around 2003, it was a strip club until a Concerned Citizen petitioned to shut it down. It was converted to a Mexican restaurant but they must've forgone redecoration fees because the lighting in there was far too neon and sleazy for eating fajitas. They were out of business by the next year.
I guess what I'm saying is I miss but don't miss Illinois.
Sounds suspicioulsy familiar to nonsense I'm seeing twenty years later.
How long did you live in Illinois/Chicago? My wife and I moved here with our daughter in spring 2018. My son was born here in spring 2019. Broadly speaking, I love Chicago, but its reputation is well earned.
Chicago is great and terrible for all the reasons, plus the coyotes.
I grew up in Mundelein and moved to Wisconsin for college. Most of the family is still in Illinois. It's a great place to grow up, especially around Chicago and the small continent of suburbs. But yeah, there's no question the city and the economic disparity of the various towns has a rep for a reason.
Nice. I have a number of Wisconsin alum friends on my email list. Trigger warning: I went to Michigan for undergrad. But I'm a Florida transplant so I'm not a true believer.
For anyone unfamiliar, coyotes roam the streets at night. They either naturally migrated in or were shipped in to deal with the rats. And before you worry, the rats are roughly the size of a healthy fifth-grader, so it's a fair fight.
That's one of those moments where you have to really slow down to appreciate the breathtaking hypocrisy. Generally speaking, to be well-to-do enough to own property in Lincoln Park, you've probably had to make some morally questionable choices in your business life. Full disclosure: I've worked for pharmaceutical companies and investment banks.
But to be so dense that you don't even realize it while the words are coming out of your mouth. Just, bravo.
Damn, now I wish I attended community meetings when I was living in Chicago. Although, I was in Logan Square so our meetings would be mostly crusty hipsters debating how much gentrification is too much, and how can we still look like this is a working-class neighborhood without, you know, the working class?
“Another woman circled back to the most relevant question: is this a done deal?”
And there, in magician/event film terms, is the prestige. Awesome article. Hilarious community. I’m going to go find a community to corrupt with negritude.
Thank you! The people in my neighborhood never cease to amaze, which itself is a kind of miracle. Imagine going out every single day with the lowest possible expectations and still getting stunned.
Good luck with the corruption. I'm sure the local PD will ensure your effort is short-lived.
I don't think dispensaries are allowed in New Hampshire yet. 👎🏻But we sure do have plenty of gun stores within five miles of my house. 🙄 Wonder how your neighbors would feel about that. We have family visiting from the Netherlands who went on a tourist tour of our local Walmart and were shocked by the blatant availability of firearms. That's just not a thing over there. They have sense. And ample amounts of weed.
It is mind boggling what people get worked up over. Can't remember the last time marijuana was responsible for the mass murder of children. But.... Live Free and/or Die, I guess. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 🤦🏼♀️
It just defies any sense or comprehension. It's pathetic, too.
As funny as this piece is, and as happy as I am with how it turned out, because I had to read it like 10x during revision, it actually bummed me out quite a bit. The people in my neighborhood are trash. At least 40% of adults in this country are trash.
But, keep fighting the good fight. With words, not guns.
Thanks, C.L.! This is easily one of my top five favorite pieces. A magical evening teeming with madness, which I can only hope to recreate once more before I die.
Hilarious, unfortunately. You reminded me that I've been to a few of these meetings myself (https://terryfreedman.substack.com/p/three-memorable-meetings). They provide an opportunity for people who have no life and no intelligence to advertise the facts. I do my best to avoid them these days, as I value the concept of keeping my blood pressure under control. A great write-up though: masterful.
Thank you, Terry! Yes, my blood pressure was displeased with me after this one, especially since every time I read it during revision I got angrier and angrier. But, unfortunately, I titled this nonsense publication Field Research.
Will check out your post!
Good strategy, Amran -- at least that way you can say to yourself that it was all worthwhile! Thanks, hope you enjoy it. :-)
It really helps reframe the nonsense I encounter in my every day life. Instead of getting mad, I think: Oh that'll make an excellent piece.
I think you and I would make a great team.
And people wonder why no one talks to their neighbors anymore.
This reminds me of the cursed building near Diamond Lake that had a new business about once a year. Back around 2003, it was a strip club until a Concerned Citizen petitioned to shut it down. It was converted to a Mexican restaurant but they must've forgone redecoration fees because the lighting in there was far too neon and sleazy for eating fajitas. They were out of business by the next year.
I guess what I'm saying is I miss but don't miss Illinois.
Sounds suspicioulsy familiar to nonsense I'm seeing twenty years later.
How long did you live in Illinois/Chicago? My wife and I moved here with our daughter in spring 2018. My son was born here in spring 2019. Broadly speaking, I love Chicago, but its reputation is well earned.
Chicago is great and terrible for all the reasons, plus the coyotes.
I grew up in Mundelein and moved to Wisconsin for college. Most of the family is still in Illinois. It's a great place to grow up, especially around Chicago and the small continent of suburbs. But yeah, there's no question the city and the economic disparity of the various towns has a rep for a reason.
Sorry, forgot:
Went to Wisconsin for college in 2007 and moved here permanently in 2009
Nice. I have a number of Wisconsin alum friends on my email list. Trigger warning: I went to Michigan for undergrad. But I'm a Florida transplant so I'm not a true believer.
For anyone unfamiliar, coyotes roam the streets at night. They either naturally migrated in or were shipped in to deal with the rats. And before you worry, the rats are roughly the size of a healthy fifth-grader, so it's a fair fight.
My kids and I stumbled upon a coyote by the Nature Museum a few years ago. Was cool AF and unsettling all at once.
Also, Chicago rats have no fucks left to give. They're bigger and badder than ever, and these days they just patrol the streets in broad daylight.
“I’d bet good money Dickhead sells mortgage-backed securities at his day job.”
💯 LOL
Haha -- thank you!
That's one of those moments where you have to really slow down to appreciate the breathtaking hypocrisy. Generally speaking, to be well-to-do enough to own property in Lincoln Park, you've probably had to make some morally questionable choices in your business life. Full disclosure: I've worked for pharmaceutical companies and investment banks.
But to be so dense that you don't even realize it while the words are coming out of your mouth. Just, bravo.
Damn, now I wish I attended community meetings when I was living in Chicago. Although, I was in Logan Square so our meetings would be mostly crusty hipsters debating how much gentrification is too much, and how can we still look like this is a working-class neighborhood without, you know, the working class?
Sounds like I could have had a field day at one of those. Though for pure neoliberal toxicity Lincoln Park is tough to top.
Bookmark this one for later: https://agowani.substack.com/p/one-sided-conversations-with-unmedicated-4e3
All this makes me nostalgic for Chicago lol
Come back to the Windy City!
TBH my gf and I are considering it. She's applying to a PhD program there.
Good luck to her! If you do make it back we'll definitely have to hit up a community meeting together.
“Another woman circled back to the most relevant question: is this a done deal?”
And there, in magician/event film terms, is the prestige. Awesome article. Hilarious community. I’m going to go find a community to corrupt with negritude.
Thank you! The people in my neighborhood never cease to amaze, which itself is a kind of miracle. Imagine going out every single day with the lowest possible expectations and still getting stunned.
Good luck with the corruption. I'm sure the local PD will ensure your effort is short-lived.
I don't think dispensaries are allowed in New Hampshire yet. 👎🏻But we sure do have plenty of gun stores within five miles of my house. 🙄 Wonder how your neighbors would feel about that. We have family visiting from the Netherlands who went on a tourist tour of our local Walmart and were shocked by the blatant availability of firearms. That's just not a thing over there. They have sense. And ample amounts of weed.
It is mind boggling what people get worked up over. Can't remember the last time marijuana was responsible for the mass murder of children. But.... Live Free and/or Die, I guess. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 🤦🏼♀️
It just defies any sense or comprehension. It's pathetic, too.
As funny as this piece is, and as happy as I am with how it turned out, because I had to read it like 10x during revision, it actually bummed me out quite a bit. The people in my neighborhood are trash. At least 40% of adults in this country are trash.
But, keep fighting the good fight. With words, not guns.
Thank you, Amran, for this exciting episode of Adventures In Stupidity!
Thanks, C.L.! This is easily one of my top five favorite pieces. A magical evening teeming with madness, which I can only hope to recreate once more before I die.