The world this week: Politics, Business & KAL’s cartoon
A bunch of dreadful things happened. A bunch of dreadful people and dreadful companies made obscene amounts of money. Distinctive artwork with unsettling, phallic insinuations.
Leaders
Democracy under threat: Authoritarianism and illiberalism are on the rise across the western world. Somebody ought to do something about that.
The next pandemic: The world should do more to prepare for the next — oh FFS we tried to warn you.
Middle East peace: A two-state solution is possible if…hahaha jk jk.
Secrets of the North: Scandinavia once again reports the world’s highest levels of happiness. Face it, the whites are just better.
The future of capitalism: This newspaper believes it’s still the best economic system — because Britain invented it.
Letters
Bureaucrat complains. Professor complains. PR firm complains. Dad joke.
Briefing
Ultra-deep dive into the most important topic of the week. Just read associated leader and save twenty minutes.
United States
Trump. Gerrymandering. Police brutality. Trump. Immigration. Cloning pets. Trump. Pollution. Carbon emissions. Trump. Warmongering. Regulatory capture. Trump. NATO. Can the world still rely on American leadership? Trump.
The Americas
Petro-state. Narco-state. Inflation. Deforestation. Hyperinflation. Tan lines. Papaya. Neofascism. The Falkland Islands. Beautiful, busty, bronze titties. Indigenous injustice. Fútbol.
Asia
Afghanistan — yikes. Malaysian corruption. Indonesian corruption. Everyone in India has Covid. Cricket. The Japanese are fucking anthropomorphic, animatronic dolls. The South Koreans are also fucking anthropomorphic, animatronic dolls. Fatboy shoots a missile. Fatboy kills a journalist. Fatboy kills a political rival. Fatboy kills his cousin. Fatboy kills his brother. Duterte drops acid.
China
Surveillance state. Hong Kong repression. Jack Ma: canceled? Taiwanese annexation. Spheres of influence. SARS-CoV-2. Lab leak vs. meat market. Lockdowns. Mass testing. Omicron. Zero Covid: LOL piss off tossers.
Middle East & Africa
Genocide. Ethnic violence. Ethnic cleansing. Rare earth elements. Hyperinflation. Genocide. Ethnic violence. Ethnic cleansing. Barrels per day (bpd). Khashoggi. Famine. OPEC+. Resource curse. Climate extremes. Drought. Somali pirates. Super-duper-hyperinflation. Genocide. Ethnic violence. Ethnic cleansing. Mobile banking.
Europe
Macron: like Obama, but lamer, and married to a GILF. Austerity. Northern fiscal discipline. Southern fiscal laxity. Srsly does anyone ever work in Spain? Pensions. Islamophobia. Beware the Bear. NATO. We fucking told you to Beware the Bear. U.N. security council. Isn’t anybody going to do anything about that fucking Bear? Ukraine’s bravery. Ukraine stands alone. Zelensky: Übermensch. Ukraine represents us all. World War III: Boris ≠ Winston.
Britain
Brexit: unmitigated disaster. NHS cocks up again. Colonialism: we’re really sorry, but no, you can’t have your shit back. Brexit: still really bad. The Troubles, redux. Living with the virus. Tories wank off again. English football: or how a once Great Empire learned to fuck off and live in mediocrity. Brexit: might be fine? Boris takes the piss. Peaky Blinders. Brexit: bollocks.
International
Bureaucrats gone wild. Mercenaries. Matteo Renzi, technocrat. Wait, who founded this NGO? Bees.
Business
Moore’s law. Rise of the influencers. Bullshit jobs. Wearable tech. Peter Drucker. iPhones. Globalization FTW. Hybrid work. IPO boom. IPO bust. Maersk. Unions: good for workers, bad for shareholders. Shareholders > workers.
Finance & economics
Dark pools. Wage stagnation. QE. Real interest rates. GDP. GNP. Adjusted GDP. Adjusted GNP. Econometrics: maybe bullshit? Big Data. Fiat currencies. The dismal science. Harvard. The Fed. Bond yields: yes, they’re inversely proportional to prices. Yes, that’s sort of confusing. No, we can’t explain it better. No, we don’t totally understand it either. Yes, economics is a human construct built on absurd pretenses. Homo economicus. Inflation. Abenomics. Bitcoin: almost certainly bullshit. Bitcoin: not going away. Bitcoin: fuck it, buy some.
Science & technology
EVs. Automation. Giraffes: gay. Artificial intelligence. Mice: gay. SpaceX. Robots: gay. 3-D printing. Bats.
Culture
Klimt. Hamilton. Hollywood: morally bankrupt. The Sellout. Hollywood: financially bankrupt. Milkman. Now playing at London’s West End: Shakespeare, again. Book review: TL;DR: Reaganland. Book review: TL;DR: Moneyland. Culinary cunnilingus.
Economic & financial indicators
You’re actually reading this? Ok boomer.
Graphic detail
Check out this totally badass, incredibly overengineered chart!
Obituary
So and so checked out. They lived a remarkable life, for a bit of a cunt.