Your plans for forward progress are solid. Glad to hear you're picking up your novel again. I write those, too. And I'm a gem of a critique partner. ✍🏼💡💎
The fact that Condo Conspiracy Club has a president tells me they're a little too organized, even though they claim otherwise. I smell a mole from the association. Also, Predator, in the movie theater? As in, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Predator? I'm jealous if so. My exposure to that cinematic masterpiece only occurred on VHS, and so many times the tape started to deteriorate.
Yes, THE Predator -- the OG -- in the theater! My independent movie theater screened the film in parallel with a book launch by Ander Monson. There's a little blurb about the book toward the bottom of this post: https://agowani.substack.com/p/davos-for-the-davos-crowd
I'm planning to write about Predator -- my favorite movie, which I've seen triple digit times -- some time in the near future.
I became Treasurer effective January 1, 2023. We now have digital banking access, a comprehensive income statement with quarterly variance analysis, historical cash flow statements, and a simple yet comprehensive balance sheet. Plus everyone gets a monthly update on our finances. I did all that because I put in the bare minimum effort.
The genesis of this piece came about when one of my dipshit neighbors had the audacity to suggest I wasn't being transparent with some numbers. After five years of their bullshit, obfuscation, and tomfuckery.
They're subscribers and will read this. Fuck 'em. This is what happens when you cross the line.
I actually clicked the share button. I never knew if they worked or not because I have never tried. I loved it all but particularly this part : He brought a never before seen combination of apathy, cynicism, incompetence, and cowardice to our organization, and will be deeply missed.
Sent it to my mother who wrote a book on voluntary associations called good neighbor nation. She was a Harvard professor and traveled around the world teaching from the book. Almost 100% of the “questions” were telling horror stories about their HOAs. It would be hysterical if it didn’t actually make people hysterical. Excited to read more of your stuff.
That's amazing! I remember going to a local alumni event populated with a bunch of real estate attorneys. They shared horror story after horror story and I thought, "It can't really be that bad." But it is!
Thanks for reading and commenting and I hope you dig future stories! If you're into condo insanity, there's the children's story I mentioned in the post, plus a (fictional) condo riff in this one: https://agowani.substack.com/p/flash-fiction-story-bag-vol-2
Also though: when they said "keep your friends close and your enemies closer," I don't think they meant go after your fellow condo owners. I pray for your safety.
I'm going to need to charge you for future therapy bills as reading that caused flashbacks to our own nightmarish HOA experience. So THANKS A LOT FOR THAT!!!
AAHH -- sorry! I should've put a clearer content warning at the top. Effective writing evokes strong reactions though, so I guess I'll take your therapy bill as a compliment. :-)
Also, as I have the iron will of Batman, rest assured that these villains will be brought to justice.
I can't wait for your three year old's progress report along side a pseudo serious piece on C.P.S. iniquities. Now that seems like quite the dessert coming from a treasurer with a full plate.
A while back I began with my own 'Notes' on substack. To date I've really only made a few notes on a few other writer's pieces. I keep telling myself I'll get around to making some more 'Notes' of my own as time permits, but as we all know those permits are subject to time constraints. Meanwhile, I've been enjoying your writings and observations coupled by a satirical wit that seems to be fading away and/or even lost on a new and younger generation. I guess maybe they're not getting it when someone says "Get it?, Got it? Good."
When I do get back around to my own 'Notes', hopefully some of that same entertaining raillery of yours will have rubbed off. Thanks again !
This was good in all ways that something can be good.
So good.
Just damn good.
Damn.
Your plans for forward progress are solid. Glad to hear you're picking up your novel again. I write those, too. And I'm a gem of a critique partner. ✍🏼💡💎
Careful what you wish for...
The fact that Condo Conspiracy Club has a president tells me they're a little too organized, even though they claim otherwise. I smell a mole from the association. Also, Predator, in the movie theater? As in, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Predator? I'm jealous if so. My exposure to that cinematic masterpiece only occurred on VHS, and so many times the tape started to deteriorate.
Moles abound in the SCHOA network...
Yes, THE Predator -- the OG -- in the theater! My independent movie theater screened the film in parallel with a book launch by Ander Monson. There's a little blurb about the book toward the bottom of this post: https://agowani.substack.com/p/davos-for-the-davos-crowd
I'm planning to write about Predator -- my favorite movie, which I've seen triple digit times -- some time in the near future.
Awesome, I look forward to it!
If we criminalized morons, we’d run out of prison capacity faster than you could say “three strikes.”
My thoughts exactly.
Which position on the condo board do you actually hold?
I became Treasurer effective January 1, 2023. We now have digital banking access, a comprehensive income statement with quarterly variance analysis, historical cash flow statements, and a simple yet comprehensive balance sheet. Plus everyone gets a monthly update on our finances. I did all that because I put in the bare minimum effort.
The genesis of this piece came about when one of my dipshit neighbors had the audacity to suggest I wasn't being transparent with some numbers. After five years of their bullshit, obfuscation, and tomfuckery.
They're subscribers and will read this. Fuck 'em. This is what happens when you cross the line.
God, reminds me of being on the school board for years! I couldn’t believe some of the dipshits I had to deal with.
I'm the Treasurer of my daugther's public school too! Is it any wonder I'm the way I am?
Well, if you ever hoist the black flag and go on a roaring tour of extralegal vengeance, I’ll know it was justified. Fun stuff!
Haha! I've seriously almost reached the "Nothing left to lose" stage.
I actually clicked the share button. I never knew if they worked or not because I have never tried. I loved it all but particularly this part : He brought a never before seen combination of apathy, cynicism, incompetence, and cowardice to our organization, and will be deeply missed.
Thank you, Anna! Yes, that's my favorite part too. The individual in question did everything in his power to elicit such rage, so it's well deserved.
And thanks for sharing!
Sent it to my mother who wrote a book on voluntary associations called good neighbor nation. She was a Harvard professor and traveled around the world teaching from the book. Almost 100% of the “questions” were telling horror stories about their HOAs. It would be hysterical if it didn’t actually make people hysterical. Excited to read more of your stuff.
That's amazing! I remember going to a local alumni event populated with a bunch of real estate attorneys. They shared horror story after horror story and I thought, "It can't really be that bad." But it is!
Thanks for reading and commenting and I hope you dig future stories! If you're into condo insanity, there's the children's story I mentioned in the post, plus a (fictional) condo riff in this one: https://agowani.substack.com/p/flash-fiction-story-bag-vol-2
Also, this is by far my most popular piece ever, so it's a great place to start: https://agowani.substack.com/p/one-sided-conversations-with-unmedicated-4e3
Welcome to the show!
Loved the footnote.
Also though: when they said "keep your friends close and your enemies closer," I don't think they meant go after your fellow condo owners. I pray for your safety.
It would be truly Shakespearean if they banded together and took me out. At least I'd be free of SCHOA.
I'm going to need to charge you for future therapy bills as reading that caused flashbacks to our own nightmarish HOA experience. So THANKS A LOT FOR THAT!!!
AAHH -- sorry! I should've put a clearer content warning at the top. Effective writing evokes strong reactions though, so I guess I'll take your therapy bill as a compliment. :-)
Also, as I have the iron will of Batman, rest assured that these villains will be brought to justice.
I can't wait for your three year old's progress report along side a pseudo serious piece on C.P.S. iniquities. Now that seems like quite the dessert coming from a treasurer with a full plate.
I'll be looking forward to it.
Good stuff !
Thanks, Timothy! The content gods demand constant tribute and there's no shortage of madness to document. Stay tuned...
"...no shortage of madness to document." Indeed.
A while back I began with my own 'Notes' on substack. To date I've really only made a few notes on a few other writer's pieces. I keep telling myself I'll get around to making some more 'Notes' of my own as time permits, but as we all know those permits are subject to time constraints. Meanwhile, I've been enjoying your writings and observations coupled by a satirical wit that seems to be fading away and/or even lost on a new and younger generation. I guess maybe they're not getting it when someone says "Get it?, Got it? Good."
When I do get back around to my own 'Notes', hopefully some of that same entertaining raillery of yours will have rubbed off. Thanks again !
Tuned up, and in.
Happy to oblige!
Satire does seem to be a bit of a lost art, but these days I think it's a great tool for cutting through the noise.
Name one country where being a complete fucking moron *is* a crime. Classic American exceptionalism.