Thanks, Wil! This one came to me in a dark parenting moment. Both kids screaming. Wife pissed at me. And I just thought: would it be more humane if I died on a battlefield? I just tried to channel that macabre feeling. Glad it worked for you!
This is gold. I second Bev’s comment above. But have you ever had a less than stellar cheeseburger at a restaurant? Because back during the Protestant Reformation I hear burgers were never served cold. Because the weren’t served at all.
As someone who’s mostly convinced I don’t want kids (my wife is also on my side, which helps with maintaining this position), I’m consistently amazed that ANYONE raising another human being has any time to think, let alone create, far less so to create work that resonates. Bravo good sir 🥃
Thank you for the kind feedback. After we met in the comments of The Novelleist I checked out your essays and was like -- Whoa, this guy can write! -- so hearing that from you means a lot.
The kids question is really fascinating. When I was younger I was sure I wanted kids and couldn't understand people who didn't. But now I see the pros and cons of each side and - like most big ideas in life - there's no clear answer.
Ironically, having kids is what put me down the path to becoming a full-time writer. So in that regard, they've irreversibly changed my personal and professional lives for the better.
Well hot damn, maybe I should reconsider ... are you familiar with “The War of Art” by Steven Pressfield? I bet you are and if not, what a treat to discover that gem. Thanks for the kind words about my essays, we’re on the same wavelength, words are how we interpret this beautifully hilarious and strange world. One of these days we shall have to collaborate, no doubt
Same! Same same same. I was immortal until I had my daughter. Then I realized oh maybe not so immortal, crikey I better get on with publishing all my work
Whiskey, if I recall, and it's meant for Samuel. I don't drink hard liquor -- can't tolerate it -- but you're welcome to pull up a chair to our table anytime.
Amran is correct indeed. Irish whiskey if I may be so bold. From West Cork, if I may be so brazen. And yes indeed, pull up a chair. Perhaps a 12 years aged would work ... dare I suggest a Red Breast?
I thank you Amran for the pain of parenthood that you suffer. It is your pain that makes my occupational livelihood possible as a well compensated child psychiatrist.
😎 This got my attention among many other things: “No more eighth graders and their annoying TikToks. Calm serenity in the vast nothingness of the abyss.” YES please.
back in the day you would have been submerged in a tub of fetid swamp water with boulders over your chest for even possessing "actuarial tables" go figure
Stuff like this is wildly underrated by the general reading public who are, for the most part, stupid.
All too sad and true. Six years of parental pain in a few hundred words is also a lot to take for most people. :-) Thanks for reading this one!
Better to be a great failure than a bad winner, I (hope to someday) say!
Also, nice aquiferic sentences, carrying such visceral moments in just a few, well chosen words!
Thanks, Wil! This one came to me in a dark parenting moment. Both kids screaming. Wife pissed at me. And I just thought: would it be more humane if I died on a battlefield? I just tried to channel that macabre feeling. Glad it worked for you!
A great parenting philosophy!
This is gold. I second Bev’s comment above. But have you ever had a less than stellar cheeseburger at a restaurant? Because back during the Protestant Reformation I hear burgers were never served cold. Because the weren’t served at all.
Haha - touché! That's what floors me about modern life and modern "parenting": both are better than they've ever been, and yet still feel impossible.
As someone who’s mostly convinced I don’t want kids (my wife is also on my side, which helps with maintaining this position), I’m consistently amazed that ANYONE raising another human being has any time to think, let alone create, far less so to create work that resonates. Bravo good sir 🥃
Thank you for the kind feedback. After we met in the comments of The Novelleist I checked out your essays and was like -- Whoa, this guy can write! -- so hearing that from you means a lot.
The kids question is really fascinating. When I was younger I was sure I wanted kids and couldn't understand people who didn't. But now I see the pros and cons of each side and - like most big ideas in life - there's no clear answer.
Ironically, having kids is what put me down the path to becoming a full-time writer. So in that regard, they've irreversibly changed my personal and professional lives for the better.
Well hot damn, maybe I should reconsider ... are you familiar with “The War of Art” by Steven Pressfield? I bet you are and if not, what a treat to discover that gem. Thanks for the kind words about my essays, we’re on the same wavelength, words are how we interpret this beautifully hilarious and strange world. One of these days we shall have to collaborate, no doubt
Familiar but haven't read. Will add to my infinite queue of TBR.
Re: a collaboration - book it.
Same! Same same same. I was immortal until I had my daughter. Then I realized oh maybe not so immortal, crikey I better get on with publishing all my work
Haha! I'm really glad you read this one and enjoyed it. It's still my favorite piece ever. I honestly re-read it like once per month.
Is that emoji bourbon, whiskey, or rum? And is it meant for Amran or you? Either way, enjoy but may I have one as well? (parent of a now 12-year-old)
Whiskey, if I recall, and it's meant for Samuel. I don't drink hard liquor -- can't tolerate it -- but you're welcome to pull up a chair to our table anytime.
Amran is correct indeed. Irish whiskey if I may be so bold. From West Cork, if I may be so brazen. And yes indeed, pull up a chair. Perhaps a 12 years aged would work ... dare I suggest a Red Breast?
I'd love to see this written from a mother's POV. Though, our historical deaths would have been far less multifarious.
Childbirth. Childbirth. Childbirth. Aaaannd... Childbirth.
Tragic and true. But don't forget about the periodic executions and burnings at the stake for witchcraft.
That's what we get for sleeping with the devil. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Nobody to blame but yourselves. Sad.
I thought I recognized some of Carlin’s fingerprints in this :) Thank you for the great read!
I love that you realized it along the way. Surely you have exquisite taste in all things.
Thanks for reading!
I thank you Amran for the pain of parenthood that you suffer. It is your pain that makes my occupational livelihood possible as a well compensated child psychiatrist.
This is the ultimate comment, and the ultimate compliment.
Thanks for reading this one! It'll haunt you.
So you got that going for you. And that’s nice. 😉
Excellent comment. No notes.
Thanks for reading!
😎 This got my attention among many other things: “No more eighth graders and their annoying TikToks. Calm serenity in the vast nothingness of the abyss.” YES please.
I've got a monster post on middle-age coming next Friday. More in that vein very soon.
What exactly are you saying? ☺️
Haha, that I'm middle-aged! I turn 43 tomorrow and this coming week's posts will have a similarly macabre tone. Stay tuned!
Hang in there youngster 💪🏻
I look forward to reading your perspective, having passed that milestone two decades ago.
back in the day you would have been submerged in a tub of fetid swamp water with boulders over your chest for even possessing "actuarial tables" go figure
True enough. More civilized times, indeed.
In my experience, heads on pikes are highly underrated.
Agree. They really add charm and personality to the town square.