When money flows in a circle, everyone gets rich
Hey Friends: I did a bit with strikethrough text in this piece that appears not to be formatting correctly in the App version. Just a heads up that you may have a better reading experience on the web or via email.
"55% email open rate"
"consult a Magic 8 Ball."
Thanks for this post, Amran. Really enjoyed this, and you've finally convinced me that you know what you're talking about. Therefore, from here on out I'll be leaving all my future life decisions to you. So check your spam folder/hit the unblock button. 🥩 🥩 🥩
Straight fire emojis.
I decided yesterday that I don’t know enough about investing to invest (which has been my lifelong investment strategy). Now, thanks to you, Amran, I don’t know what to think. But I’m still not investing.
I didn’t find this controversial. It’s good satire. I get your point of view. You’re probably mostly if not entirely right. Your skepticism and sarcasm are fun and remind me of myself. Good material my friend.
Oh boy, irony IS such a complicated idea! I’ve been through a number of the skeptical takes on Substack’s announcement and, truly, I like yours the best, especially the more straight-up analysis after the fold.
This was great. I know absolutely nothing about investing and thought maybe this was the time to invest. So they got me on that one. But I didn't. Yet. But I still might. Maybe because I believe, somehow, despite any visibility on how exactly an ROI would play out, that because I FEEL good about Substack, my FEELINGS can be turned into less money in my bank account for the promise of MORE money in my bank account, somehow. And that's science.
PS but for real, given your financial knowledge, what's the hypothetical way my $100 could become $200? IPO? And then wouldn't Substack just go the way of every other small-time art-centric platform that sold out for cold hard ca$$ (see: Bandcamp)?
I’d call it lighting money on fire, but that’s a simple, straightforward, and transparent process.
(extremely difficult to find footnotes of an extremely difficult to locate SEC filing, a la Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
"It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying 'Beware of the Leopard.'”
This may be your most cutting, invective, and HILARIOUS piece yet, Amran.
I love your particular brand of heresy (or sanity, in this case!)
Thanks for this Amran! The pitch felt weird, now I know why!
To test your theory, I put some cash tonight in my salad spinner and didn’t get rich. What gives?
Late to the party, great read! 👏You had me at 55% email open rate. Now off to find out what this seedier side of Substack is all about...
I take offense at the donkeys comment. I know one personally who really knows his hay. I mean dough. I mean...